Gary Fincke
Advice, for Men, on Ironing
Start with the clothes that need the coolest iron.
For shirts, the collar first, both sides, before
Pressing the back and front of sleeves, working
The torso next until it’s wrinkle-free.
For pants, the pockets first, then waistband, butt
And crotch. The legs go last, inseams aligned,
The material carefully stretched smooth.
Remember to hang each item quickly,
And always give them space because cooling
Sets the press. You’ve worked the wrinkles away,
Taken all the creases out like Botox.
So don’t, when finished, undo the iron’s work.
Still, you’ll need to speak with the elderly
To learn about dampening shirts by hand.
Women only, of course, alone all day
In the house, tiny radios playing
The last white crooners who fronted big bands.
Those widows will explain how they once heard
The legends of ironing, the flat surface
Heated on wood-fired stoves, scorching common.
Or the myths of irons warmed by kerosene,
Appliances like lanterns pressed against
A husband’s shirt sleeve. And just when you think
You realize what a hundred years can change,
One of those beautiful crones will insist
There were irons, once, that ran on gasoline,
Household helpers so dangerous to use
Those implements, some days, took casualties.